The Most Epic! Book in the World
The Most Epic! Book in the World
The Most Epic! Book in the World contains the sentence “Epic!” written out 100,000 times. It is literally the most "Epic!" book in the world.
Once upon a time, a young man woke in the middle of the night with a bright idea to write The Most Epic! Book in the World…
The Most Epic! Book in the World literally contains the sentence “Epic!” written out 100,000 times. Did I type it each time? No, I did not. However, I did type this intro, so that must count for something.
I imagine that the main question you have is, how long did it take me to write this book? Well, let me break it down for you. I had the idea two nights ago, while I was walking my dog. I then immediately told my wife that sadly this book will sell better than any other book I will ever write.
The following afternoon, I mocked up some cover designs while watching a cooking show on television. They all sucked, so I put the idea to rest for the night.
My wife’s alarm sounded at 7 A.M. I promptly woke, showered, made coffee, and took my dog out for a walk (in that order, exactly).
After throwing my dog’s crap in a trashcan that’s been overflowing for days, I redesigned the cover.
I wanted it to look professional, so I chose the most boring font I could find, Helvetica, and then wrote my book’s title on a printable red background.
After, say, spending less than an hour on the cover, it took about 30 minutes to type out the sentence Epic!, copy the sentence Epic!, and finally paste the sentence Epic! until I reached my goal of having a manuscript with 100,000 Epic!’s in it.
I guess it took approximately three days and 30 minutes to create The Most Epic! Book in the World.
Here’s a list of four things you can do with this book:
- You can use it as a journal or scrapbook by scribbling in its margins and gluing stuff to its pages.
- You can use it in a school assignment by telling your teacher that you’ve just purchased The Most Epic! Book in the World and that it’s well over 400 pages of whatever the heck you need it to be at that given time.
- You can use it as a conversation starter by putting it on your coffee table and asking your guests if they’ve read it. If they say yes, you know they’re liars and if they say no, you can just make up what the book is about.
- You can use it as a weapon, though I’m not sure it will work all that well unless your opponent is equipped with The Least Epic! Book in the World*
I hope after reading this book, or using it as a journal, or scrapbook, or pranking your teachers with it, or utilizing its genius to figure out which of your friends are liars and which of your friends are truth-tellers, you realize that YOU ARE THE MOST EPIC! PERSON IN THE WORLD.
Yes, you are the most Epic! person in the world, since only the most Epic! person in the world could handle purchasing, reading, journaling, scrapbooking, lie-detecting, pranking, gifting, or even handling The Most Epic! Book in the World.
Thank you,
Daniel Rolnik
The World’s Most Adorable Art Critic
Author of The Most Epic! Book in the World
*The Least Epic! Book in the World is the name given to this book after someone rips out each and every page until only a singular “Epic!” remains.
Listen to the Audiobook's Introduction
EXCERPTS
"Epic!" - page 26
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"Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic!" - page 92
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"Epic!" - page 109
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"Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic!" - page 266
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"Epic!" - page 266
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"Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic!" - page 347
432 Pages
4.25" x 6.88"